Hey Kids!
Do you remember my nameless massive, mammoth, pool-size telescope that I told you about last week? I wanted to use it to see the wonders of Moshiach’s times (you know me, I’m a world renowned vision specialist; I specialize in seeing things in a special chossid’s way), but it only worked if I sang “we want Moshiach now” and danced around in a circle and really, really wanted Moshiach to come.
This week, Sunday, at exactly 4:46 and 8 seconds, I had a sudden brilliant inspiration. I envisioned a tall tower for my nameless Moshiach-times-telescope. I could see it in my mind already and I wanted to build it right away. I needed some help, though. I called my good friends Boom and Bam, and we started building. Boom brought the boards, and Bam brought the bricks, and Dr. Getzel brought the toolbox. We started working. Boom, bam, bang… Boom, bam, bang…
Boom was short, but Bam was very tall. Boom was also unusually chubby, while Bam was incredibly skinny. Boom looked like a round, juicy tomato; Bam looked like a thin, green asparagus. They were good assistants. It started out well, but soon enough, things started getting very complicated.
Bam worked very zooming quick, and Boom worked very dreamy slow. Soon they started fighting.
“Speed up, you slow poke,” said skinny Bam to fat Boom.
“Slow down, you fast poke,” said chubby Boom to thin Bam.
I offered them popcorn with marshmallow fluff and orange soda, and things calmed down. We continued working. Boom, bam, bang… Boom, bam, bang…. The bricks were adding up and we already had a tall wall. I rubbed my hands together, said “Moshiach now” under my breath, snuck some extra popcorn into the pockets of my workman’s overalls, and continued working. This was going to be a magnificent tower. It was going to be as tall as the Statue of Liberty and even more popular. Boom, bam, bang… Boom, bam, bang…
Three days later.
The sun was hot, and it got even hotter. Our tower was tall, and it was getting even taller. My assistants were nervous and they were getting even nervouser. My mosquito bites from last week were itching, and they were itching more and more furiously. All my scientist bells started ringing in my head. I knew there was going to be some trouble ahead.
“Bring that board, please,” boomed busy Bam to lazy Boom.
“Can’t.” Says Boom to busy Bam, “I’m busy blowing bubbles.”
“Blowing bubbles doesn’t make you busy,” said a bristling Boom.
I should have gotten involved. After all, scientists like me who specialize in seeing special things can solve important problems. At this particular moment, however, I was very engrossed in scratching my many mosquito bites left over from last week’s boating activity at the camp lake.
Bam and I continued building while Boom continued blowing bubbles. The tension was high and the mood was low. Boom’s face looked as red as a bruised tomatoes, and Bam’s face looked as long and stretched out as an unripe asparagus. Bam snickered and said something nasty to Boom; Boom answered something even nastier.
Then it happened.
BOOM! BAM! BOOM! BAM! BOOM! BAM! BOOM! BAM! BOOM! BAM! BOOM! BAM! BOOM! BAM! BOOM! BAM!
The tower started to crumble! It made a terrible burping sound and bricks started flying all over the yard. Bam, Boom, and I just watched as the half-built tower slowly collapsed. It took not even seven minutes, and the beautiful building was a hopeless pile of broken bricks and boards. The pile was covered with a thick layer of sawdust, popcorn, and some of Boom’s popped bubbles. Our magnificent tower was lying in ruins, in a pool of orange soda.
We were stunned. Boom started to cry. Bam started to sneeze. I started to sniffle as well, but I knew that scientists are supposed to solve international problems, and so I sat down in the middle of the sorry mess and started to think.
But Bam figured it out first. “It’s like the Beis Hamikdosh,” he said.
“Uh, huh,” agreed Boom, “that’s what the yiden must have felt like when their tower, the Beis Hamikdosh, was destroyed. Only much, much worse.”
“I’m sorry,” said Bam, “I shouldn’t have been so mean.”
“I’m sorry too,” said Boom in a quiet voice, “I shouldn’t have been so lazy.”
I don’t have a happy ending yet. I would love to say that the bricks and boards jumped up from the pile and became a tower again, but that did not happen. They made funny sounds instead.
“Seedaka,” squawked one badly broken brick, and I knew he wanted us to give more Tzedaka.”
“Meetz Vos,” squeaked another, and I knew he wanted us to do more Mitzvos.
Bam, Boom and I left the mess as it was. Boom was still crying, and Bam was still sneezing, and I still sniffle every time I think about our demolished tower. I would sniffle even more, but I am always so distracted by my mosquito bites…besides, I need to give Tzedaka, add extra Mitzvos…
Dr. Getzel